The illusion of digital community
From the day I downloaded my smartphone, my relationship to social connection was never the same. Playdates were replaced with FaceTimes, affirmations replaced with likes, and my digital community increasingly became more valuable than my tight-knit community of friends.
I was lost in the illusion of “connecting” and my true human connections began to slip away until my life was on the line in the depths of my isolation and depression. On my healing journey, I gathered groups of friends in talking circles — Gloria Steinem Style — open and safe spaces to discuss our challenges with social media and our mental health.
That’s when I realized the opposite of addiction was community.
This is not a unique story. Surveys show that 91% of teenagers ages 13-17 have used social media. The average American teen is spending eight hours a day on the internet, which equates to almost 30 years of their life behind a screen. Although there are benefits to social media, the more time we spend on our devices, the more time we are alone. Are we really all alone, together?
Social media’s role in the loneliness crisis
Earlier this month, the US Surgeon General Vivek Murthy announced his advisory and plan on the Healing Effects of Social Connection and Community The data speaks for itself. From 2003–2020, there is a clear connection between increased social media use and a trend of increased social disconnection.
This decline is most prominent among young people ages 15 to 24 — surprise-surprise! For this age group, time spent in-person with friends has reduced by nearly 70% over almost two decades, from roughly 150 minutes per day in 2003 to 40 minutes per day in 2020.
The opportunity cost of our social media connection is our lack of human connection. The next generation has the lowest emotional intelligence.
Unlocking play through screen-free weekends
Like many entrepreneurs, I turned my pain into my superpower, and made it my mission to empower the next generation’s relationships in the digital and physical world and listen to stories and perspectives of youth from all walks of life.
I’ve spent the last seven years of my life pioneering a movement and non-profit organization, #HalfTheStory, which was born out of my dorm room to support the 300-million-plus youth seeking human connection behind their devices.
Belonging is simple — it begins with community. I started experimenting a few years ago by gathering youth in a space without their devices. There is no space to run, to scroll, or to hide; it’s just space to play.
How to engage kids in screen-free ways
The truth about teens is that if you want to engage them, they need to be at the center of the idea or program. We partner with school districts and work with student leaders to build experiences based on their unique school culture, challenges, and desires.
We simply make space to explore their emotional well-being, play, and social relationships without a rulebook, rooted in four key principles:
1. Human Connection: The antidote to digital overwhelm and overuse is intentional disconnection, preferably that which includes connecting with others and socializing in real life, off-screen.
2. Freedom of Expression: We believe that leaning into artistic expression and honoring authentic conversation is the path toward enlightened meaning-making. The freedom to express yourself doesn’t come from sharing a post online or viewing perspectives on TikTok, but rather, by interfacing with other individuals with similar and diverse viewpoints.
3. Belonging: Feeling connected to physical space is essential for feeling at home, even in New York City. Finding community within the confines of Washington Square Park will evoke feelings of belonging for attendees, hopefully supercharging their sense of well-being with regard to their community.
4. Storytelling: True to our name, social media is just half of the story. We work to empower the next generation of technology users by teaching them to share their stories and to advocate for what matters most to them.
The future is screen-free.
All images are from #HalfTheStory / Event: Screen-Free Recess / San Diego, CA
